How To Win A Place In Their Hearts

I’ve recently lost someone I’ve loved and admired for my entire life, my Grandmother. And whilst it has been a difficult time, it has given me a chance to reflect on how much she meant to me. During this reflection, I couldn’t help but compare how she influenced my life to how coaches can influence their athlete’s lives.

My Grandmother has influenced my beliefs and my way of life, which I’m sure most people could relate to. However, upon reflection, what I was most interested to observe how obvious it was that I was influenced completely by her love for me. Well, more importantly, how much I felt she loved me. The way I felt she loved me made me willing to do anything for her.

Showing how much you care

Essentially, my Grandmother used some simple strategies to show how much she cared for me. And we could all use her same methods to show our athletes how much we care for them. There were three overarching strategies my Grandmother used to win me over and influence me.

1. She gave me freedom. Freedom to explore and freedom to play. She wasn’t afraid to let me try different things, make my own mistakes, and discover my own path.
2. She was always there for me. I could talk to her about anything, and I could always count on her to give me the right advice and guidance at the right time.
3. And finally, she spoiled me rotten. If there was something I wanted, she would go out of her way to get it for me. And then she would surprise me with things I wasn’t expecting.

Now, sports coaches can use these same strategies to show their athletes how much they care for each of them. By giving them freedom when they need it, spoiling them when they deserve it, and being there for them when they need you, you will build rapport. However, there is an important ingredient that is required to create an unbreakable bond.

It’s personal

The special relationship my Grandmother built with me was due to more than just freedom, advice, and treats. She knew exactly when I needed my own freedom, exactly what I desired most, and when I needed advice and when I didn’t. And she knew this because she knew me.

What she did for me wouldn’t have worked as effectively with someone else. This is because I am unique and have different motivations and ambitions from others. And so did all her other grandchildren.

For you to be able to create the same bonds with your athletes, the first thing you need to do is get to know them. You need to understand what motivates them. What excites them and makes them want to train or play. You need to discover when they need freedom and when they need your advice and guidance. And finally, you need to find what they really enjoy so you can give them the personal rewards that will forever leave a special place for you in their hearts.

25 questions to get to know them

To get a better understanding of each of your athletes, you can start by asking them some questions. Below are 25 questions you can use in the form of a questionnaire, to start peeling back the layers of them as a person. This will create a great foundation for which you can begin getting to know each of your athletes on a deeper level.

1. Why are you playing “your sport”?
2. What do you most enjoy about “your sport”?
3. What have been your greatest highlights whilst playing “your sport”?
4. What have been your greatest achievements whilst playing “your sport”?
5. What is your greatest memory from playing “your sport”?
6. Are there any things that you don’t like about “your sport”? If so, please list them.
7. What do you believe are your greatest strengths in “your sport”?
8. What areas of your game do you feel that you need improvement?
9. What do you like about training?
10. What do you dislike about training?
11. What are your long-term goals in “your sport”? (As far into the future as you want to plan)
12. What are some of your medium/short-term goals? (Within the next year or so)
13. How do you think a coach can help you achieve these goals?
14. What areas of your game would you really like coaching in?
15. What other expectations do you have of a coach?
16. What would be a successful season look like for you?
17. How important is “your sport” in your life right now? (Rate between 1 and 5 where 5= Extremely High;  1  = No importance)
18. How important is it for you to do well in “your sport”? (Rate between 1 and 5 where 5 = Extremely High;  1  = No importance)
19. How would you rate your desire and determination to succeed in “your sport”? (Rate between 1 and 5 where 5= Extremely High;  1 = Non-existent)
20. Do you currently play any other sports or do any fitness activities? If yes, please provide details, including level and time commitment.
21. Do you have any other hobbies or activities you enjoy? If yes, please provide details.
22. Of all your sports, fitness activities, and hobbies, do you enjoy one more than the others? If so, which and why?
23. Do you work and/or study? If so, please tell me what you do and what you enjoy about it.
24. Who are the special people in your life? (ie Family/Friends/Pets)
25. In life, what is your greatest personal achievement? And why is it important to you?

The answer to all these questions will give you a great understanding of:

• Why your athletes play your sport.
• What they are hoping to achieve whilst playing.
• What you could do to help them.
• How committed they are to your sport.
• What they do outside of your sport.
• And what things are important to them in life.

With this intimate knowledge, you’ll be able to give your athletes the freedom they need, the advice and guidance they require, and you’ll be able to spoil them in the best ways. Do this and you’ll be loved and respected by your athletes forever.

Action Steps

1. Download our template questionnaire. Click here to download.
2. Amend the words of the questionnaire as required and print off copies for each of your athletes.
3. Ask your athletes to complete the questionnaire and remind them that there are no wrong answers.
4. Review the answers from each of your athletes and keep them for future access.
5. Use the answers for your athletes to tailor a sporting experience for each of them. Ensure that environment gives them the freedom, guidance, and rewards they deserve and need.

What was your key takeaway from this article?
Do you have any questions on any of the information provided in this article?

Let us know in the comments.